Saturday, 8 October 2022

Her Dual Hues

They say Mother's love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible. Today I am going to talk about my Icon whom I always look up to, my Mom. My mother is the only daughter of my grandparents with three brothers. She grew up in a most protective atmosphere, with lots of love, care, and affection yet very strict family values. Her early childhood and teens were spent in Mysore. My maternal grandmom was the daughter of Marathi Chaudhari and settled in Mysore for 3 generations. My grandmom was the most beautiful lady I have ever seen. She left us to the heavenly adobe 18 years back and I miss her very much. Being the first granddaughter in the family, I was pampered with lots of love, attention, and care from my maternal grandparents and my uncles. My mom was the first child who was a graduate in her family. And pursued her masters in Hindi literature after marriage, which was a very great thing in those days. Mom was married and shifted to Hyderabad. After I and my younger sister were born my parents shifted to Bengaluru. So that's how we settled in Bengaluru for more than 30 years now.  

My mom is a multi-talented lady and a learner. At an early age, she was an entrepreneur before she took up teaching as her profession. Mom's first love was teaching from which she couldn't stay far for a longer time. It is her greatest passion and she always stood up to it. She used to teach higher secondary students and also as a professor in the college, where I and my sister used to study. She loved her job to the core. She worked for 22 years and is now retired. During her teaching profession, she was very gentle, loving, and caring yet strict and disciplined with her students. She never used a stick in her entire 22 years of the teaching profession. Mom was widely loved and honored by her students. Many students used to share their secrets and had great trust in mom. She has guided and mentored many students who are now doing excellent work. Mom was a great mentor, adviser, and above all their best friend. She was honored with the "Best Teacher Award" for her contribution to teaching. 

I and my younger sister got to grow up with a mother and teacher. I feel without a teacher - no profession can exist. According to Mom, teaching is one of the most respected professions. Mom's day used to start at @4.30 am. Finish the household chores, make us ready for school, pack our lunch box, and start towards school. After returning from school, Mom used to take tuition. She loves languages. She teaches Hindi, Sanskrit, and Kannada. Being born and bought up in Mysore Mom knows Kannada very well. She is a great learner. Even now at the age of 60 plus her routine is the same irrespective of weekdays and weekends.

I always look back to our childhood days and think about how Mom used to handle everything with so much zeal and enthusiasm. I have never seen her telling tired. I have always seen her with a beautiful smile on her face. The choice to work instead of staying at home with her daughters was not an easy one. But she did it all with great interest and dedication to her family. I and my sister had the privilege of being with her at school where mom used to work.  In that way, we used to always be in front of her eyes. She never left us alone. I have seen her work to be the best mom while having a career. Now I understand how difficult it was, to have a family with two daughters and pursue her dream job. She always tells me we should enjoy and love whatever work we do. Whether being a homemaker taking care of family and kids or pursuing your job along with family. Just do it wholeheartedly and enjoy doing it. 

Our childhood was always busy with more studying and playing in the evening with limited time given by mom and with only a few known friends who mom also knows. She is a very protective and disciplined person and this follows even now. Her daughters are her life. Our lifestyle was very simple yet with more values and morals. Our summer vacation used to go with the wait for when mom will finish her exam paper valuation and make progress cards ready and hand it over to the school. Only after that, we were allowed to think about a vacation to my Aaji's house in Mysore. Easily one month of our summer holidays used to go in this wait. In that one month, we were helping Mom with her household chores. Morning and evening prayers are a must in our house. Mom is a very religious lady and Devi bhakt. Our mornings used to start after bath with chantings and prayers. Perform Tulasi maa pooja. Only after that, we were allowed to drink our milk and have breakfast. Mom engraved spirituality like no one. My maternal grandmom was the most religious lady of her time. The same quality has come up in my mom and us too. I and my younger sister used to enjoy helping mom during festivals. I used to be always keen on helping Mom in the kitchen and experimenting with new dishes. My love for cooking started at an early age. And more creative and artistic since childhood. This quality came from my mom. She is a great artesian.

We used to have a gala time at my maternal grandparent's house during our Dussehra and Summer vacations. I and my younger sister were pampered the most by our grandmom, uncles, aunts, and cousins. My aunt used to prepare yummy dishes. I and my sister had very long hair. My aunts used to sit for hours together to braid my and my sister's hair, experimenting with new hairstyles, and the rest of the ladies sipping evening chai and talking rather say gossiping(hehe) and laughing to the rooftop. I still remember during our vacations in Mysore, I used to accompany my Aaji to "Ramakrishna Paramahamsa Ashram" for evening Satsang. I used to walk holding my Aaji hand, asking questions about the importance of Satsang and spirituality. She had answers to all my questions. She had a group of ladies of her age who used to wait for Aaji to start the Satsang. I used to enjoy being with Aaji's friends. My Aaji never went to school and got married at the age of 11. I used to wonder about seeing her knowledge in all spheres like- Spirituality, family, customs, and traditions. She used to have household remedies for most common illnesses. And most importantly she was wonderful to cook. In those days at Aaji's house, they had Sigdi, an earthen pot stove, which used to light up with charcoal. The taste of food cooked on this stove is unbeatable. My Aaji loved cleanliness. And she used to make sure all the people in the house follow it. She used to be well dressed always, with her moonlight-shining long white hair, braided well in a beautiful bun with a pure cotton saree and black bindi. I was very dear to my Aaji. I used to love her company the most. We lost our grandfather when I was a 1-year-old kid. I don't have much memory of our Ajoba. 

Later in the evening we all cousins together used to visit Mysore palace, to see the grandeur of palace lighting. Have yummy chats and icecreams, In those small stalls and then return home late in the evening. Have dinner at night watching our favorite show on Doordarshan "Byomkesh Bakshi". I used to always sit with eyes wide open waiting to see what next. It was an Indian-Bengali fictional detective show. This was one of the favorite shows of 80's kids. There are quite a few, like - Chanakya, Vikram Betal, etc... I feel childhood is practically the most beautiful part of a person's life, the most innocent too. It is a timeless treasure of our life.

My parents did their best to give me and my sister the best secure life. They did everything for us. My mom always stood as a rock for her family and see to it that her daughters always get the best. Now after I became a mother, I feel parenting is the toughest job on earth. As you are responsible for the physical, emotional, and mental development of another human being. when I get some challenges in life I sit and look back at how mom used to handle them. Mom always tells read books and gain knowledge. It is the greatest treasure and it can't be taken away from one. I always try to do my best and achieve at least half or one-third of what Mom achieved in her life. Mom's love has always been sustaining force in our family. Now I and my sister are grown-ups into successful individuals and well-settled with our life, Mom says it is her greatest joy in seeing her compassion, integrity, and intelligence reflected in her daughters. 

I still remember how you brushed our hair, kissed our cheeks, and told us fairy tales. I miss those innocent days to the core. Before marriage girls, 1st priority is their goals and dreams. After marriage girls, 1st priority is family and responsibility. Successful mothers are not the ones that never struggled. They are the ones that never gave up despite their struggles. You are emotional, yet the rock. Tired, but keeps going. At times worried, but full of hope. Overwhelmed, but never quits. Wonderful, even in the chaos. Life changer, every single day. Above all, you are the most charismatic lady playing your dual hues. We are blessed to be your daughters. We love you, Mumma.