Cup Of Tea

 

YOU CAN'T BE EVERYONE'S CUP OF TEA

There will always be something that you say or do which causes offence or division

Whether you meant to or not

There will always, be someone who finds fault in you, your life or your words

There will always be someone in this life who just doesn't like you, no matter how hard you try to please them

You may never find out why, please dont waste your precious time trying to impress them

YOU CAN'T BE EVERYONE'S CUP OF TEA

Don't try to convince people who are not meant for you to walk along with you

You are not for them and they are not for you

Politely wave them along and move back as well

Just stop pouring yourself out

Not everyone has a taste for flair. Don't expect everyone to appreciate it

Just be you, because 

YOU CAN'T BE EVERYONE'S CUP OF TEA

Then there will be a little fizz of energy that passes between you

Silently, unseen, bonding. Those people will not only like you, but they will like you fiercely

The people who are good for your emotional health

They are your people. Whatever space-time you have, spend it on them

YOU CAN'T BE EVERYONE'S CUP OF TEA

But you can be someone's first sip of cold coffee on a sunny day

Seek to share your path with those who love you

Appreciate you, who do not judge you

And also criticise you to help you improve and grow as a better human being

Be who you are

YOU CAN'T BE EVERYONE'S CUP OF TEA

And that is OK

Primeval Art - Madhubani

A few of you all know, my second most hobby apart from writing is Art. Today I am going to tell you a few facts about the very oldest, most famous and most widely appreciated art form of India - Madhubani Art. I started doing Madhubani painting during the pandemic time. Once I started, I couldn't stop for one or two. Now there are quite a few paintings I have done. Of late I started gaining interest in this eye-catching art and studied a few facts and was thrilled to know more and more about this. This art form replicates ancient India and its culture.

This art form is practised in the Mithila region of the Indian Subcontinent.  It originated from the Madhubani district of the Mithila region of Bihar. Maithili is a language, so enriched with culture and values that it exudes the sweetness of honey. Madhubani derives its name from the abundance of honey collected in the nearby forest. It is the land which is fabled as the kingdom of Janaki and the adobe of mother Sita. The origin of Madhubani paintings is quite unknown. However, it is believed that king Janak, ruler of the Mithila kingdom during the 7th or 8th century BCE, asked to develop this kind of painting to capture the moments of his daughter Sita's wedding to prince Ram. 

Each village here has a history which is centuries old, a culture which reflects the Vedic era and mostly agricultural as their economy. It was traditionally created by the women folks of various communities of the Mithila region. Madhubani is also a major export centre of these paintings. Artists create these paintings using a wide variety of mediums, including fingers, twigs, nib-pens and matchsticks. In the olden days, these paintings were done traditionally on freshly plastered mud walls and floors of huts. But now it is done on cloth, handmade paper and canvas. Traditionally these paintings are done with a paste of powdered rice. The paint is created using natural dyes and pigments. 

As far as I have seen Madhubani paintings mostly depict people and their association with nature, rituals, and deities from the ancient epics. They include natural objects in this art form like - the sun, and the moon, religious plants like tulsi which are widely used along with scenes from the royal court, and social events like weddings. In these paintings generally, no space is left empty and the gaps are filled by pictures of trees, flowers, animals, birds etc, using vibrant colours. As this art has its roots in the Mithila region, hence it is also called Mithila art or Mithila painting. I get amazed to see such beautiful and oldest artwork is still kept alive and practised in institutions spread across the Mithila region. 

Madhubani art is later classified into 5 different types. As I read more about the below-mentioned types of art and compared my paintings which are done in the last 3 years of my association with this art, was amazed to see and relate my paintings with these different styles. Below are the classification of these different types of art, as well as a few of my Madhubani paintings - 

1. Bhrani Style:- Bharani is a Hindi word that means "filling" This art form was traditionally used for portraying Hindu deities and their historical contribution to Indian mythology.

2. Katchni Style:- It has a unique Individual style, mainly made using monochrome or only two colours. These paintings primarily depict animals, flowers and gods.

3. Godan Style:- The discovery of Godan Madhubani painting is believed to be done with the use of bamboo pen and Kajal to make designs. The straightforward method in the Mithila art style.

4. Tantrik style:- This style represents the traditional and religious texts in a very precise manner. People in India generally involve these paintings in their homes or on any special occasion for prayers with firm faith.

5. Kobar style:- These paintings mainly depict Hindu wedding ceremonies, and they are primarily made on the walls of the bride and groom's home.

Few of my Madhubani paintings - 

For me, the face of art is somewhat like that of the sun. It does not communicate but it gives.  There are so many other ancient art forms in India, which are widely practised and preserved till date. For example -  

• Pattachitra Painting
• Kalam Painting 
• Madhubani Painting
• Mandana Painting
• Kalamkari Painting
• Pithora Painting

Apart from the above-mentioned art forms, the oldest Indian paintings are Rock Art in caves which are 30,000 years old, such as the Bhimbetka cave paintings. It is so amazing to see such wide dimensions  our culture and tradition holds. For me, India is a country in which every religion, tradition, custom, and value finds its home. India is a place where colour is doubly bright. Pink that scalds your eyes, blues you could drown in. That is why it is called Incredible India. Proud to be an Indian. 

Her Dual Hues

They say Mother's love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible. Today I am going to talk about my Icon whom I always look up to, my Mom. My mother is the only daughter of my grandparents with three brothers. She grew up in a most protective atmosphere, with lots of love, care, and affection yet very strict family values. Her early childhood and teens were spent in Mysore. My maternal grandmom was the daughter of Marathi Chaudhari and settled in Mysore for 3 generations. My grandmom was the most beautiful lady I have ever seen. She left us to the heavenly adobe 18 years back and I miss her very much. Being the first granddaughter in the family, I was pampered with lots of love, attention, and care from my maternal grandparents and my uncles. My mom was the first child who was a graduate in her family. And pursued her masters in Hindi literature after marriage, which was a very great thing in those days. Mom was married and shifted to Hyderabad. After I and my younger sister were born my parents shifted to Bengaluru. So that's how we settled in Bengaluru for more than 30 years now.  

My mom is a multi-talented lady and a learner. At an early age, she was an entrepreneur before she took up teaching as her profession. Mom's first love was teaching from which she couldn't stay far for a longer time. It is her greatest passion and she always stood up to it. She used to teach higher secondary students and also as a professor in the college, where I and my sister used to study. She loved her job to the core. She worked for 22 years and is now retired. During her teaching profession, she was very gentle, loving, and caring yet strict and disciplined with her students. She never used a stick in her entire 22 years of the teaching profession. Mom was widely loved and honored by her students. Many students used to share their secrets and had great trust in mom. She has guided and mentored many students who are now doing excellent work. Mom was a great mentor, adviser, and above all their best friend. She was honored with the "Best Teacher Award" for her contribution to teaching. 

I and my younger sister got to grow up with a mother and teacher. I feel without a teacher - no profession can exist. According to Mom, teaching is one of the most respected professions. Mom's day used to start at @4.30 am. Finish the household chores, make us ready for school, pack our lunch box, and start towards school. After returning from school, Mom used to take tuition. She loves languages. She teaches Hindi, Sanskrit, and Kannada. Being born and bought up in Mysore Mom knows Kannada very well. She is a great learner. Even now at the age of 60 plus her routine is the same irrespective of weekdays and weekends.

I always look back to our childhood days and think about how Mom used to handle everything with so much zeal and enthusiasm. I have never seen her telling tired. I have always seen her with a beautiful smile on her face. The choice to work instead of staying at home with her daughters was not an easy one. But she did it all with great interest and dedication to her family. I and my sister had the privilege of being with her at school where mom used to work.  In that way, we used to always be in front of her eyes. She never left us alone. I have seen her work to be the best mom while having a career. Now I understand how difficult it was, to have a family with two daughters and pursue her dream job. She always tells me we should enjoy and love whatever work we do. Whether being a homemaker taking care of family and kids or pursuing your job along with family. Just do it wholeheartedly and enjoy doing it. 

Our childhood was always busy with more studying and playing in the evening with limited time given by mom and with only a few known friends who mom also knows. She is a very protective and disciplined person and this follows even now. Her daughters are her life. Our lifestyle was very simple yet with more values and morals. Our summer vacation used to go with the wait for when mom will finish her exam paper valuation and make progress cards ready and hand it over to the school. Only after that, we were allowed to think about a vacation to my Aaji's house in Mysore. Easily one month of our summer holidays used to go in this wait. In that one month, we were helping Mom with her household chores. Morning and evening prayers are a must in our house. Mom is a very religious lady and Devi bhakt. Our mornings used to start after bath with chantings and prayers. Perform Tulasi maa pooja. Only after that, we were allowed to drink our milk and have breakfast. Mom engraved spirituality like no one. My maternal grandmom was the most religious lady of her time. The same quality has come up in my mom and us too. I and my younger sister used to enjoy helping mom during festivals. I used to be always keen on helping Mom in the kitchen and experimenting with new dishes. My love for cooking started at an early age. And more creative and artistic since childhood. This quality came from my mom. She is a great artesian.

We used to have a gala time at my maternal grandparent's house during our Dussehra and Summer vacations. I and my younger sister were pampered the most by our grandmom, uncles, aunts, and cousins. My aunt used to prepare yummy dishes. I and my sister had very long hair. My aunts used to sit for hours together to braid my and my sister's hair, experimenting with new hairstyles, and the rest of the ladies sipping evening chai and talking rather say gossiping(hehe) and laughing to the rooftop. I still remember during our vacations in Mysore, I used to accompany my Aaji to "Ramakrishna Paramahamsa Ashram" for evening Satsang. I used to walk holding my Aaji hand, asking questions about the importance of Satsang and spirituality. She had answers to all my questions. She had a group of ladies of her age who used to wait for Aaji to start the Satsang. I used to enjoy being with Aaji's friends. My Aaji never went to school and got married at the age of 11. I used to wonder about seeing her knowledge in all spheres like- Spirituality, family, customs, and traditions. She used to have household remedies for most common illnesses. And most importantly she was wonderful to cook. In those days at Aaji's house, they had Sigdi, an earthen pot stove, which used to light up with charcoal. The taste of food cooked on this stove is unbeatable. My Aaji loved cleanliness. And she used to make sure all the people in the house follow it. She used to be well dressed always, with her moonlight-shining long white hair, braided well in a beautiful bun with a pure cotton saree and black bindi. I was very dear to my Aaji. I used to love her company the most. We lost our grandfather when I was a 1-year-old kid. I don't have much memory of our Ajoba. 

Later in the evening we all cousins together used to visit Mysore palace, to see the grandeur of palace lighting. Have yummy chats and icecreams, In those small stalls and then return home late in the evening. Have dinner at night watching our favorite show on Doordarshan "Byomkesh Bakshi". I used to always sit with eyes wide open waiting to see what next. It was an Indian-Bengali fictional detective show. This was one of the favorite shows of 80's kids. There are quite a few, like - Chanakya, Vikram Betal, etc... I feel childhood is practically the most beautiful part of a person's life, the most innocent too. It is a timeless treasure of our life.

My parents did their best to give me and my sister the best secure life. They did everything for us. My mom always stood as a rock for her family and see to it that her daughters always get the best. Now after I became a mother, I feel parenting is the toughest job on earth. As you are responsible for the physical, emotional, and mental development of another human being. when I get some challenges in life I sit and look back at how mom used to handle them. Mom always tells read books and gain knowledge. It is the greatest treasure and it can't be taken away from one. I always try to do my best and achieve at least half or one-third of what Mom achieved in her life. Mom's love has always been sustaining force in our family. Now I and my sister are grown-ups into successful individuals and well-settled with our life, Mom says it is her greatest joy in seeing her compassion, integrity, and intelligence reflected in her daughters. 

I still remember how you brushed our hair, kissed our cheeks, and told us fairy tales. I miss those innocent days to the core. Before marriage girls, 1st priority is their goals and dreams. After marriage girls, 1st priority is family and responsibility. Successful mothers are not the ones that never struggled. They are the ones that never gave up despite their struggles. You are emotional, yet the rock. Tired, but keeps going. At times worried, but full of hope. Overwhelmed, but never quits. Wonderful, even in the chaos. Life changer, every single day. Above all, you are the most charismatic lady playing your dual hues. We are blessed to be your daughters. We love you, Mumma. 

A Concept - Eidetic Memory

Hello friends, hope you all are doing good. I was quite busy with my son's school and other activities, as we all are getting adjusted to the new normal i.e, starting of schools and offices. At last, the wait is over for our kids, as they are happy to be back to school. And I am back in my favourite zone (writing). So, here I have come up with a beautiful concept which I have come across for a while now when I met a person in one of the video shots in "Art of Living International Centre". A mastermind and genius who holds a "Genius Book Of World Record" in memorizing the longest word sequence in one minute. When we had a brief chat with this super human, one of the key aspects he referred to me was "Eidetic Memory". He explained to me further how to use it and put it into one day-to-day routine, which can play a great role in training one's memory. A topic especially useful for kids. All we need is just 10-15 minutes of our time in our day-to-day schedule to spend with our kids and discover their hidden genius minds present in them.

Have you ever come across how a 5 or 10-month-old baby can identify picture cards including flags, images, fruits, vegetables and even people for that matter. And thousands of other kids like yours.  Have you ever wondered how kids can remember objects/recall people when they were just a baby? because most babies have a strong "Photogenic Memory" and the ability to remember images or objects in great detail after seeing them for only a short time. If you are a parent who is serious about making your child a creative genius and not just a left-brain person this one is for you. 

So, what happens when that's left untapped, they are forced to memorize information eventually making them less creative. Schools mostly involve left-brain learning where everything they teach is either logical, analytical or factual. But, right brain learning is unique. Skills like photogenic memory, art and creativity can be inculcated only when kids get one-on-one attention. That is one of the reasons why art/music schools always charge high and take fewer admissions. 

Eidetic Memory which can also be called a "Photogenic Memory" is typically found only in young children, as it is virtually nonexistent in adults. But few adults have phenomenal memories (not necessarily of images). But children possess far more capacity for eidetic imagery than adults. Survey says Eidetic Memory has been found in 2 to 10 per cent of children aged 6 to 12. It has been hypothesized that language acquisition and verbal skills allow older children to think more abstractly and thus rely less on visual memory systems. 

This amazing ability can inculcate and practised in our kids on a day-to-day basis to enhance Eidetic Memory in them. Ever since I have come across this beautiful concept, I have been implementing it on my 8-year-old son, which has played a great role in his memorising technique. He is an extensively creative person and a wonderful artist at this young age, which helped me to experiment with this beautiful concept on him, as I have mentioned above this concept requires more right brain activation. 

One can spend quality time of at least 10-15 minutes with your child before going to bed. Once you have done with your bedtime storytelling, ask your child about the entire day's happenings. Mentioned a few bullet points as examples. It can be anything other than this which can be asked of your child.

• What time your child got up in the morning.
• The first thing/people saw after getting up from bed.
• What was the colour of the saree/dress of his teacher in school?
• To recall the page number in the textbook of any subject which was taught in school.
• what was his friend's school bag colour?
• Also to recall what colour of dress his friend was wearing, say one/two days back.

I enjoy doing this with my son before going to bed. And he doesn't stop for 2/3 he goes on and on. It has become our bedtime game after storytelling. By doing this one can develop a great bond with our kids. Also, there is a scientific reason that before going to bed it's good to develop a few habits like:- read a few lines from some good books. Write your daily journal for the next day and empty your mind to have a good night's sleep. Chant a mantra or do a few rounds of breathing exercises. It is a great routine to follow along with our kids so that they develop these good habits from a very young age. It is also a good practice for ending our day on a positive note. I have always heard parents telling, us that our kids don't listen to us. But we forget to notice that they are watching us. So we as a parent should develop good habits so that our kids just follow them. 

So what to linger for, hit your bed with some good sheets, dim light with some refreshing scented candles, ( yes! of course, candle lights are not made only for candlelight dinners with friends and partners) our cute little munchkins are the purest souls and deserve the most. Tuck your kid in your arms and give them this magic for a lifetime which never leaves them to start this new journey with your kid and give them loads of good memories to cherish. 

Do share your ideas and views through your comments. Thank you!

निशकामिनी

 मौन हूँ, निःशब्द नहीं।

आवाज़ हूँ

बस बोलती नहीं।।

जज़्बात है 

मुंह खोलती नहीं।

चाहत है

किसी से उम्मीद नहीं।।

आते जाते कई लोग मिले,

कूछ याद रहे, कुछ याद बने।।

कुछ साथ चले, चलते ही रहे।

जो चल न सके, किरदार बने।।

पहल न करूं

किसी से डरती नहीं।

जीत की चाह नहीं

हार मानती नहीं।।

दुनिया में अपना किरदार कुछ

इस तरह से निभाना।

की अगर कोई आपके बारे में

गलत भी कहे, तो लोग उस पर

विश्वास न करे।।

मोहताज नहीं किसी ग़ालिब की

वो बागबान है, इस कायनात की

में हूँ निशकामिनी।।

Her Hues

To her glory, to the movers, the makers, the

hustlers, the shakers

Your worth is not in the things you do,

your worth lies in your care and through.

To those who shout loud, who stand strong,

and when needed those who quietly move on.

You go beyond your limit in life,

you are so strong from the inside.

To those who build empires, move mountains

push boundaries, raise babies,

make memories and refuse to take no 

for an answer. You the ladies paving the way

for a new generation, who are ready to play.

You are there for people you love 

all the while, stand tall and stand proud for all

 that you are.

You are a true woman of substance, being so 

pure and true.

She is a storm a magnificent force

writing her story in the lighting.

They tried to burn her, not knowing 

she was a flame.

But she is the force of supreme standing 

now and amazing.

Not to be judged, not to be toyed, not to be 

belittled, but to be cherished, 

to be admired and to be loved.

For she is a phenomenal woman with her hues.

Languishing - An Important Aspect

Recently I read an article by Adam Grant on Languishing. Which moved me deeply.  It captured my state of mind so aptly, that I thought to write on it. Because it has certain lines on spotting languishing in children, which can be a tip on languishing in our kids and can help us in addressing it wisely. Here are a few facts - 

I always had a great urge in studying psychology. Which make me read a lot on this subject. In psychology, we think and read about mental health on a spectrum from two aspects. That is - depression to flourishing. Now, Flourishing is the peak of well-being, where you have a strong sense of meaning, mastery and mattering to others. But on the other hand, Depression is the valley of ill-being. One feels despondent, drained and worthless. In between these two aspects here comes the "Languishing". It is the neglected middle child of mental health. It's the void between depression and flourishing. This means, the absence of well-being. You dont have the symptoms of mental illness, but not functioning at full capacity. 

Languishing dulls our kid's motivation, disrupts their ability to focus and triples the odds that will cut back on work. It appears to be more common than major depression - and in some ways, it may be a bigger risk factor in later stages too. As I stated earlier here we can see a few tips on languishing on kids and how we can overcome this. As pandemic has badly affected our children's lives.

(1) Allow your child to express/release their frustration in a healthy way:- Crying, yelling at a wall, writing an angry letter to the virus, banging a pillow ( I know it's debatable ) etc.  These are a few healthy ways for children to release their frustration healthily without victimising a younger sibling if any at home or a friend or self-harming in the process. 

(2) Acknowledging their emotions:- I see how my 7-year-old son miss his school badly. At times he gets frustrated by looking into the screen for long hours, during his online school class. He comes and tells me how he misses his school friends, outings etc. I just hug him and acknowledge his feelings. Unlike giving him a lecture on, it's COVID. We need to be safe etc. I just look into his eyes and tell "yes, I understand". It must be so tough for you. And it encourages my child to express further. And if not, a child knows that you understand how they are feeling currently. It calms the child sooner.

(3) Allowing your child to Interact:- This point goes very well with my experience. When the first COVID way broke out, I was so anxious to allow my child to step outdoor. We were locked in the house for months. Later I realised how it affects child development and growth. I feel allowing them to interact with close friends, safely is important. I would not recommend it during a peak COVID wave. But I feel it's important to remember that children need connection, bonding and activity time with children of their age. If not physically, arrange for virtual playdates. 

Today, I feel our children have been bearing the brunt of this pandemic than anybody. They have been missing the real enjoyment of their most important phase of life. Let's try hard to make this phase of their life most memorable, remarkable, time-tested. As said, children are natural zen masters. Their world is brand new in every moment. Every child is gifted, they just unwrap their packages at different times. We being a parent, let's not allow their innocence, smiles and the purity of their hearts to fade away. Let it stay with them forever.