New Wing Of Life (Part-2)

Months passed by, and one night at home during our bedtime conversation R (my 9-year-old son) shared a beautiful incident that took place in his school. He had an activity in one of his subjects, where he need to write a few lines about one's parents and their occupation. He wrote a few lines about his mother (me) which goes like this - " My mother is an artist, excellent cook, blogger, author, and a Kathak dancer". His mam was quite surprised and very delighted to read through lines written by R. His mam personally asked him in detail and was very happy. R said it was a proud moment for him. I was so surprised and extremely felicitous and overwhelmed to hear this from my son who watches me so deeply. Seeing me astonished he showed me the copy of his book where his class teacher had given him good remarks. There were no boundaries to my happiness. I never thought about the multiple roles I am playing currently. That night was one of the most memorable nights of my life. I tucked my bunny (R) tight and went to sleep happily.

This incident made me more and more aware and I started watching myself more, in the activities I do, as I have a secret admirer (R) who keeps a close eye on me. Kids are the best critic one can have. They are watching what we do far more often than they are listening to what we say. So I have started watching my words too now. R is bringing out the best in me, which I am loving it. I am a proud mom of a smart, intelligent, child. 

Exam time. Yes, I had the theory exam of my 1st year - Kathak on the 8th of Jan 2023, just a day before my birthday, and R had his unit test. And I had guests at home, the cook was on leave, along with it I had extra classes for my dance rehearsals, for an upcoming event. Seeing my condition my mom was very anxious. How will I manage? I was completely drained out after 4 hours of rehearsals, coming back home, making R study for his unit test, cooking, and I need to prepare for my exam too. I told god wah! what timing to test me (haha). I somehow manage all with grace, studying late at night, with half eyes closed - after having a backbreaking, exhausting day. The next day N dropped R at guitar class, I reached my center for my exam and was completely blank. Just glanced at the notes, took my question paper, and answered all the questions that came to my mind. (waiting for my results) and completed my paper 15 min before time. After rechecking the answers I submitted my answer sheet, and what a relief ufff. I felt feather-light.

Upon reaching home, I just sat silently for a couple of hours. No energy was left. Being in silent mode is a joke of the day for my family and friends, (haha) but I was in that zero-word hour. After a halt, I am back, in the evening went out for my bday shopping and dined out. The next day morning the entire khandhan (my family including in-laws and my parents) came home to wish me and celebrate my bday. I had a lovely, pleasant time with my family and loved ones.

This year is a busy one for the last 2 months. After winding up a jam-packed January, there comes the Feb with hand full of work, birthday, travel, performance, and celebration. The first 2 weeks were fully packed. With my first Kathak dance performance. My little one's birthday is no less than a festival to me. And N was traveling outside India on a work visit. All this was fallen on the same day 11th Feb, R birthday, and my long hours of dance rehearsals. Another month of testing time. This time my family especially my mom was completely in stress. How you will manage all three in one day? Thanks to my little one who told us to celebrate his 9th bday on a lower note, only with family and two of his close friends. But somehow I was not convinced, as I always celebrate his bday on a grand scale. But due to time constraints, we agreed and acted thoughtfully. 11th Feb was my first dance performance and R too was performing live guitar on stage. So it was a big day for mother and son, and so for the family too. 

It was an evening of Kalatmak Rang. I was wearing a formal Kathak dress with heavy makeup which was too much for me, but required for a dancer. My family members reached the venue, and seeing me dressed as a dancer my mom and younger sis were in great joy. Mom just hugged me and was overwhelmed seeing her daughter, finally able to make it and standing tall and proud, ready to dance on the stage. N was equally elevated seeing me in that costume. The program started, with a formal speech, etc. There came my dance performance, dancing in front of an auditorium jam-packed with people, with that live tabla and Sargam bol by our guru, was one of the most prestigious days of my life as a dancer. I performed in two dances, one was bhajan by Pt. Jasraj Ji, and the other was Taal Sangam. We all had a lovely evening witnessing the beauty of art and music. N postponed his travel by a day, as he didn't want to miss our performance and R bday. He was proud and delighted to see R and I performing. The entire family had a lovely time. It was a major milestone in my life.

We celebrated R bday on 12th Feb in his favorite restaurant, which is art based. It's a clay/pot-making bristo a pan-Asian cuisine. We did cake cutting and later had a hearty meal enjoying ourselves with family. N started towards the airport, and we all reached home. I just hit the bed, which was very much needed. Life kept on giving me opportunities I received them with both hands. There were a lot of twists and turns, and challenges that I faced in the last one year,  especially in the last two months. At times It was very demanding, and I felt like giving up, but my strengths were stronger than my fears. My biggest strength in this journey was N, who supported me and took very good care of R and our house when I happened to spend long hours in rehearsals. In this last year I understood, in the middle of difficulty lies the opportunity. I didn't settle for average. I understood we all have inspiration or role models whom we follow and adore, but taking that first step is all that matters, and the rest just go with the flow. And opportunity finds those who never give up. Practice and believe in gratitude. We already have wings, until one spread the wings we don't have an idea how long we  can fly. 

We all are playing multiple roles in life, it is not just about me. So never say NO to an opportunity without giving it a try. Sometimes you win, and sometimes you learn. Never blame anyone in life. Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forward.

Life has added a new wing to my life and I am going to fill that wing with colors and fly high...... 

New Wing Of Life (Part-1)

In the year 2022 a year ago from now, in April one of my long-awaited wish was fulfilled. Being an artistic person from an early age, anything related to art, music, and dance is very near and dear to my heart. I see art in everything. From my childhood, I had always dreamt of learning dance, from a Guru or well-trained master. Somehow I couldn't pursue this dream. Didn't get any opportunity or say the right time. In 2021 just before the pandemic, I came across a famous academy of fine art, music, and dance which is near my house. This school also teaches my favorite dance form - Kathak. I immediately enquired about the class timing, fee structure, and other basic related queries. I was very happy to know that this school is directly affiliated with Prayagraj University, Allahabad. They have gurus ( teachers) from well-schooled universities who are thoroughly trained and certified, the major attraction for me was, they also provide live tabla practice for Kathak, which is not practiced in many institutions. Playing music on youtube and dancing to its tune is usually practiced. The moment you dance along with a live tabla, tal, and sargam bol from a guru, it is a different world altogether. It is more enthralling. It holds your attention completely. 

I was eager to join the classes. But this dream came to a halt due to the pandemic in 2021. I was very disappointed. Though they had online classes, I was not in favor of online classes. I want to experience the magic of this amazing dance physically along with live sargam and tabla. I told myself as I have waited for this long, can hold on for a few more days or say months since nobody was aware when this pandemic will come to an end. In the meanwhile, I used that time to write, paint, and cooked many different dishes. As I love cooking and love to try different cuisines. Finally last year this havoc came to a standstill, telling the end of the pandemic was and is, still a dream. As we can still see raising cases of COVID in India along with other different flu, and viruses. And people are also treating it as a common cold and cough. The only way to fight against this virus is by building one's immunity and having a healthy lifestyle. 

Last summer in April 2022, I finally got admittance to this academy and registered for my 1st year of Kathak. It's an 8 years course which is properly designed along with books. I will be having two exams a year. Written as well as practicals. For me, it was like joining a college after a long break. My mom was a bit skeptical about me learning dance. Of course, she was very happy to see her daughter fulfilling her dream in the later part of life. Her concern was how I will be able to manage this, along with a handful of responsibilities. Managing my house, our 9-year-old son, his studies, his extra circular classes, etc. As a mother, her concern was valid, as she didn't want her daughter to drain out. But I was pretty sure and happy to receive this opportunity that life has given to me. Universe has manifested one of my most awaited dreams, and I am going to welcome it with both hands. 

Kathak is one of eight Indian classical dance forms. Kathak originated within Hindu temples as a storytelling device for portraying epic tales from Hindu scriptures, Mahabharata and Ramayana. It was combined with poetic and rhythmic movement to aid in worshipful storytelling. These stories didn't stay within the temple walls for long. Nomadic Kathakars or wondering storytellers, soon began carrying the dances throughout India. Later they added facial expressions and emotions to their performance. During the British Raj era, Kathak gradually declined. The tradition and art of this dance form were kept alive by certain families and passed down. Kathak is found in three distinct forms called "Gharanas" or say houses, which were named after cities where this dance tradition evolved - Jaipur, Banaras, and Lucknow. Jaipur gharana focuses more on foot movement, and the Banaras and Lucknow gharanas focus more on facial expressions and graceful hand movements. This dance form emphasizes rhythmic foot movements, adorned with small bells(Ghungroo).

I am learning the famous style which is widely practiced and it is originated from UP, "Lucknow Gharana". The origin of this Gharana can be traced back to Pt. Shri Ishwar Prasadaji from Allahabad claimed that Lord Krishna had visited in his dream, asking him to rejuvenate the art of Kathak. It was carried by one of his three son's Adguji, who trained his sons and so on. It gained prominence when it reached the courts of Nawab of Oudh in Lucknow, Uttar Pradesh, and Mughal rulers. Hence Mughal influence is seen in the dance style. The great-grandson of  Pt. Ishwar Prasadaji was the first to achieve as a dancer, and he was appointed as a 'Guru' of Nawab Wajid Ali Khan. Later his sons Pt. Bindadin Maharaj and Pt. Kalka Prasadaji carried his legacy. Lucknow Gharana, particularly emphasizes grace, elegance, and naturalness in the dance. It follows the Lasya style (inspired by goddess Parvati). Abhinaya (expressions), and Bhavas (emotions) especially improvised, play a very strong role in this style. Thumri's are very popular. Pt. Birju Maharajji, Pt. Shambhu Maharajji and Pt. Lachhu Maharaji is the most famous exponent. where there are emotions, grace, and devotion. The idol of love and devotion - Radha-Krishna, is the god of Kathak. 

It was the day of my dream which came into reality, the first day of my class with butterflies in my stomach. Dancing after a long intermission. I was an active performer during my school and college days. I used to participate in many cultural events and inter-college competitions and also inter-college plays. I was very happy to be back in this zone again, where I found myself. The outfit of Kathak is an Anarkali kurta with pants and a dupatta - a combination of Yellow and Red. First day of my class after my formal Ghungroo pooja and taking blessings from the lineage of the masters and blessings from  - Lord Nataraja (Shiva) - who is the lord of dance and dramatic arts. I was introduced to the Bhumi pranam, Guru Vandana, and a few basic steps and hand gestures. After 2 hours of dance with two short water breaks, I was exhausted, with serve aches in my shoulders and back, dripping in sweat but I would see a sparkling glow on my face. It's 2 hours of class a week on a weekend. N and R came to pick me up from my class, and the moment I entered the car, I was so high on energy, and shared my experience of the first day of my class, and they both were delighted to see my happiness.

Days and months passed by, and I was living my dream, with more enthusiasm and zeal. Wearing ghungroo and dancing to the live tabla beat is the next level of happiness for a dancer. Day by day the steps started becoming harder and the Kathak dance is famous for its chakkar  ( twirling) my first 5 chakkar was not easy at all to catch along with tal and tabla speed, but I was able to balance very well. As months passed by it became part of my life. I am very comfortable with it now. Till now I have done 12 chakkar in one go, which is an achievement for me as a dancer. At times it was very exhausting, as I need to balance my home, R's academics, his extra circular classes, household chores, etc. But the moment I wear my ghungroo and start dancing all my tiredness would vanish. My wanderer mind was back to the present moment for that 2 hours. At times we somehow forget our existence. In that 2 hours of dancing, I am nobody's wife, mother, daughter, or friend. Being myself is the biggest realization and satisfaction I got in this one year. 

To be continued.....