Months passed by, and one night at home during our bedtime conversation R (my 9-year-old son) shared a beautiful incident that took place in his school. He had an activity in one of his subjects, where he need to write a few lines about one's parents and their occupation. He wrote a few lines about his mother (me) which goes like this - " My mother is an artist, excellent cook, blogger, author, and a Kathak dancer". His mam was quite surprised and very delighted to read through lines written by R. His mam personally asked him in detail and was very happy. R said it was a proud moment for him. I was so surprised and extremely felicitous and overwhelmed to hear this from my son who watches me so deeply. Seeing me astonished he showed me the copy of his book where his class teacher had given him good remarks. There were no boundaries to my happiness. I never thought about the multiple roles I am playing currently. That night was one of the most memorable nights of my life. I tucked my bunny (R) tight and went to sleep happily.
This incident made me more and more aware and I started watching myself more, in the activities I do, as I have a secret admirer (R) who keeps a close eye on me. Kids are the best critic one can have. They are watching what we do far more often than they are listening to what we say. So I have started watching my words too now. R is bringing out the best in me, which I am loving it. I am a proud mom of a smart, intelligent, child.
Exam time. Yes, I had the theory exam of my 1st year - Kathak on the 8th of Jan 2023, just a day before my birthday, and R had his unit test. And I had guests at home, the cook was on leave, along with it I had extra classes for my dance rehearsals, for an upcoming event. Seeing my condition my mom was very anxious. How will I manage? I was completely drained out after 4 hours of rehearsals, coming back home, making R study for his unit test, cooking, and I need to prepare for my exam too. I told god wah! what timing to test me (haha). I somehow manage all with grace, studying late at night, with half eyes closed - after having a backbreaking, exhausting day. The next day N dropped R at guitar class, I reached my center for my exam and was completely blank. Just glanced at the notes, took my question paper, and answered all the questions that came to my mind. (waiting for my results) and completed my paper 15 min before time. After rechecking the answers I submitted my answer sheet, and what a relief ufff. I felt feather-light.
Upon reaching home, I just sat silently for a couple of hours. No energy was left. Being in silent mode is a joke of the day for my family and friends, (haha) but I was in that zero-word hour. After a halt, I am back, in the evening went out for my bday shopping and dined out. The next day morning the entire khandhan (my family including in-laws and my parents) came home to wish me and celebrate my bday. I had a lovely, pleasant time with my family and loved ones.
This year is a busy one for the last 2 months. After winding up a jam-packed January, there comes the Feb with hand full of work, birthday, travel, performance, and celebration. The first 2 weeks were fully packed. With my first Kathak dance performance. My little one's birthday is no less than a festival to me. And N was traveling outside India on a work visit. All this was fallen on the same day 11th Feb, R birthday, and my long hours of dance rehearsals. Another month of testing time. This time my family especially my mom was completely in stress. How you will manage all three in one day? Thanks to my little one who told us to celebrate his 9th bday on a lower note, only with family and two of his close friends. But somehow I was not convinced, as I always celebrate his bday on a grand scale. But due to time constraints, we agreed and acted thoughtfully. 11th Feb was my first dance performance and R too was performing live guitar on stage. So it was a big day for mother and son, and so for the family too.
It was an evening of Kalatmak Rang. I was wearing a formal Kathak dress with heavy makeup which was too much for me, but required for a dancer. My family members reached the venue, and seeing me dressed as a dancer my mom and younger sis were in great joy. Mom just hugged me and was overwhelmed seeing her daughter, finally able to make it and standing tall and proud, ready to dance on the stage. N was equally elevated seeing me in that costume. The program started, with a formal speech, etc. There came my dance performance, dancing in front of an auditorium jam-packed with people, with that live tabla and Sargam bol by our guru, was one of the most prestigious days of my life as a dancer. I performed in two dances, one was bhajan by Pt. Jasraj Ji, and the other was Taal Sangam. We all had a lovely evening witnessing the beauty of art and music. N postponed his travel by a day, as he didn't want to miss our performance and R bday. He was proud and delighted to see R and I performing. The entire family had a lovely time. It was a major milestone in my life.
We celebrated R bday on 12th Feb in his favorite restaurant, which is art based. It's a clay/pot-making bristo a pan-Asian cuisine. We did cake cutting and later had a hearty meal enjoying ourselves with family. N started towards the airport, and we all reached home. I just hit the bed, which was very much needed. Life kept on giving me opportunities I received them with both hands. There were a lot of twists and turns, and challenges that I faced in the last one year, especially in the last two months. At times It was very demanding, and I felt like giving up, but my strengths were stronger than my fears. My biggest strength in this journey was N, who supported me and took very good care of R and our house when I happened to spend long hours in rehearsals. In this last year I understood, in the middle of difficulty lies the opportunity. I didn't settle for average. I understood we all have inspiration or role models whom we follow and adore, but taking that first step is all that matters, and the rest just go with the flow. And opportunity finds those who never give up. Practice and believe in gratitude. We already have wings, until one spread the wings we don't have an idea how long we can fly.
We all are playing multiple roles in life, it is not just about me. So never say NO to an opportunity without giving it a try. Sometimes you win, and sometimes you learn. Never blame anyone in life. Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forward.
Life has added a new wing to my life and I am going to fill that wing with colors and fly high......
No comments:
Post a Comment