Be Available

Year end is neither an end nor a beginning, but the wisdom, which we experienced can instill in us. What feels like an end, is often the beginning. This year, for me I would say a year of love, laughter, learnings, opportunities. There were very few phases of overwhelming days too. Where I just easily floated and came out. This happened, because of my strong connect with the divine and my spiritual practises, and blessings of my Guru. My family, year-end agenda has always been to travel, to a destination where we have never visited. This year, in our summer vacation we travelled to J & K. We decided to spend our winter vacation and begin our new year with self-connect. After all being with self is the biggest joy, one should learn to experience. It is highly necessary; one should learn how to vibe alone. You can't live your life being dependent on other source of energy. One should have the ability to be self-sufficient. So, it is very important to tap into yourself once in a while. I feel connecting with self and knowing yourself is a monumental and life changing event. The more I connect with self within, the easier it gets for me to connect with the world outside. I cannot build a deep connection with someone who is disconnected from themselves. Realign with your soul is important. And for realigning, one should find connection with self. We should learn, where to stop doing and to start being. (Read again, it has bigger meaning, which I learnt recently) 

My whole family decided to spend our winter vacation with something meaningful. And we (Myself, our 10-year-old son, and hubby) enrolled to the most amazing course of Art of Living, in its international centre near Bengaluru. Here the challenges were how to leave my 10-year-old son, and attend a workshop, where I had zero access with the outside world. The main highlight of this 3 and half a day workshop, to be in silence for 60 hours (two and half a day of total silence). Yes, no phone, no internet, not allowed to talk or converse etc. Complete disconnect from the outside world. R is aware of this workshop, since I had already done this twice, but with the nearby AOL centre to my house. This time I registered to do in AOL ashram, which was a total blissful - divine experience. Later we enrolled R to a 5 days kids’ workshop, (which is highly popular. And we get to see kids from across India.) In this R will be fully occupied day in and out, and we would meet only at the night. N took in charge to take care R and I enrolled for my Silence workshop.

First day of my workshop, which started by self-introduction, with a group of 62 people from different parts of India. Who had travelled all the way long to experience this amazing workshop. I felt myself fortunate that to be located in the same city and connected near to this amazing beautiful AOL ashram. Met many wonderful people, with whom I connected very fast, and made many good friends. Played few games, and did our first kriya of the workshop. The very famous SKY (Sudarshan Kriya) Later enjoyed evening Satsang (singing and dancing to the soulful bhajans) and later in the evening disperse for the day. Once we went to sleep on that night, our silence was started, until next 60 hours. Second day of the workshop started early in the morning @ 6.30am. Being an early riser, I started 30 minutes before the time to reach the venue from our room. I just love that golden hour of the day. Where I get very limited time to experience in my day-to-day life. So, now I took total advantage to enjoy this time, with self. Walking in the dark winter mornings, smelling the greens, and feeling the cool breeze around the large huge tress and lush greens, watching, the sky with that one bright star shinning. That stroll was worth the walk of the day, where I find myself the luckiest person to experience this ecstatic atmosphere and the positive energy, until I reach my venue. Morning 6.30am sadhana, for an hour with a power packed warmup exercise, followed by Yoga. When our body is active and mind is calm, is the perfect time to experience different levels of yoga asanas and breathing exercises, which left us positive and calm mind in a joyful state at the same time. Yes, this is the magic to be in silence. One, experience all this together at the same time. Around 8.30 am break for breakfast, (We were given, a light sattvic, delicious food) and again followed by series of meditations, with lunch break and short break, followed by various processes, until evening, before Satsang. 8.30 pm is the dispersal time to go back to sleep. 

Third day too, went very well with the process, meditations and different breathing techniques etc. During different meditations, one release the oldest haunting emotions, grief, sadness. It was cleansing us in a way. Which we often hold on it, and never try to release it. That one moment Breath is our very own existences. And I understood that breathe is unbroken, coherent connection with the whole, and meditation is that guiding energy to it. On the second day night R was left frustrated seeing me in front of him, but not talking to him. Though he is aware of the process, this time he was a bit overwhelmed. As, I was in silence I just tucked him and went to sleep. On the fourth day morning, we had an early session @ 6am, as this was the D-day, where we all will be out of silence, after 60 hours. I started from my room around 5.30am and reached the venue, it was freezing, but I enjoy winter mornings, as it’s my favourite season. After our morning sadhana and meditation, we all came out of silence, and were told to bless our family members, Friends. Anyone for that matter, the entire creation. Just, to share the merit of our silence with each and every living being on this planet. Felt immensely blessed and uttered our first word, after 60 hours of silence. We can tell any one word, thanking the universe and lineage of master's. Honestly, speaking we were not ready to come out of silence. That experience cannot be explained in words,it can be only felt. Later the time to sit and think, what was the take away from this workshop? many shared their experience, few were battling their own battles, related to health, relationships, career, etc, where in they wanted to have a clarity in mind and clear thoughts. Many understood that worrying doesn't take away tomorrow's trouble, it takes away today's peace. 

My take away from this workshop was definitely a major come back to myself. Being a full-time mother of a 10-year-old kid, homemaker, and pursuing my passion for dance and writing, having the most supportive and loving family, at times, I still find challenges. And it is not only my story. We all are fighting over own battles in one or the other way. But somewhere I had felt that disconnect from being myself. Before going to this workshop, few close people asked me, a joyful talkative person, how can be in silence for 3 days in a row. My reply was, if you feel sad, unhappy, boring being with your own self, then you cannot be happy with anyone or anything.You will always look for that one helping hand or person to make you happy. Our own happiness should not be measured by others; it should be our own existence. Because, " An empty pot cannot sever others", right? 

It’s important in life learn to say "No", which is difficult for a person, who loves only to give. But it is said, even the receiver should be of that level to receive it. Before being available for others, first be available to self. I learnt to be easy in life to oneself, no matter what might be the situation. And, that forbearance comes to one, with spiritual practices, and who are in knowledge. The ultimate is not to win, but to reach within the depths of your own capabilities and to compete against yourself. I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be. The most powerful relationship you will ever have, is the relationship with yourself; so, make it a loving one. This is precisely, how much life loves you and wants you to nurture yourself. 

"Perhaps the longest journey, is the journey within, so 'Be Gentle' and 'Be Available' in this voyage of self-discovery". My mood for 2025 - " Happy, Unbothered, Focused, Flourishing, Staying in my lane, Growing, Glowing........